I don’t blog anymore. The blog started out as a class assignment, but it wasn’t long before it all felt very contrived and I just stopped altogether. I was talking to one of my good friends recently about blogs in general, and we talked about how ridiculous all these personal style blogs are getting. Contrived, that was her word. It’s a good one, huh?

But seriously, blogs. Who gives a shit? My own sister has told me that my blog is boring and that she doesn’t give a shit about what I wear. Nobody wants to look at lame photos taken with a point and shoot camera on a tripod, in someone’s apartment. If they’re going to look at photos, they want beautiful images, great quality photos, mini photoshoot. BUT WHO THE FUCK HAS TIME?? Seriously. When I thought I wanted a personal style blog, I use to beg my mum or sister to take my photo, BUT THEY DIDN”T GIVE A SHIT (okay, that’s a little hard, they definitely did me the favour). But the thing is, I felt like such an annoying brat asking them to do so.

I wrote a paper once on personal style bloggers and their “photographers.” I realized most bloggers get their boyfriends to play photographer. How much do you think that sucks for these boyfriends? No, honestly. Imagine it. You’re on a lovely date and interrupt it with “Can you just take some pictures of me for my blog, you know because I look so fly, all dressed up and shit? Oh, sorry, I don’t like that one…can you take another one? Another one, please? C’mon, my hair looks like shit there, THIS IS GOING ON MY BLOG!!!!”

You’ve got to have balls to ask someone to take that many photos of you. How do they work up the courage? Don’t they feel semi-retarded? Especially when their photos are taken in the middle of the street, and there’s people all around watching. I only ever asked my mum/sister to take my photos. If I was a guy, and some broad asked me to take photos of her for a blog, I’d look at her like she was smoking crack. Even if she were my gf of however long. Props to those narcissistic  ballsy girls. I don’t think it’s for me.

Since the blog just started off as a school thing, I’ve been thinking about deleting it or taking it offline. But then, maybe it’s good to have up, as a reminder of…something. ??? Maybe it’s a good place to rant every now and then, when I can remember my password.

Well, to all two of my readers, it’s been great. Now I’ve got to get back to studying for finals and write this paper on  FELA KUTI!!!! Cue Afrobeat music.

“If I don’t write to empty my mind, I go mad.” – Lord Byron

But how much is too much?

“The pen is mightier than the sword.”

I’m always worried I’m saying too much.

“Loose lips sink ships.”

Having an anonymous blog is very liberating and freeing – all the things I can’t share on here wind up there. I have no fear of commitment there. With this blog, I never know how much of myself to reveal. I have the hardest time committing to my sentences, and constantly find myself hitting the “backspace” button.

“Writers, especially poets, are particularly prone to madness. There exists a striking association between creativity and manic depression. Why are more creative people prone to madness? They have more than average amounts of energies and abilities to see things in a fresh and original way – then because they also have depression, I think they’re more in touch with human suffering.”

Went to Antique Alley in New Westminster yesterday and came across a copy of Cosmopolitan from June 1977 with Christie Brinkley on the cover. Bought it for $3.00 – I believe a current issue is $3.99. It was $1.50 back in the 70′s. Anyway, I was flipping through it last night and couldn’t believe some of the articles! One page literally said “They’re Beautiful…they’re Black!” and featured African American models! There was an article about a woman’s decision for breast augmentation surgery; imagine how risky that would of been in the 70′s!!! It’s so also refreshing to see images that haven’t been completely Photoshop’ed like today’s magazines.

Every morning, as I enter the train station, I’m handed 3 different freebie newspapers. As it’s a 40 min commute, I take full advantage of devouring them from front to back. My newspaper of choice seems to be 24 Hours. I get all my news, in a bite size format.

Anyway, this morning I read a horrifying story that broke my ice box heart. I would say I’m being a little dramatic, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t tear up a little behind my sunglasses. Essentially, a 15 year-old girl with down syndrome was left alone with her dead mother for over a week. She was found trying to feed uncooked macaroni to the decomposing body; she was unaware that her mother had died. I came home and googled it to read the full story, but I couldn’t bring myself to finish reading it, because it seems to be making me a little too emotional. You can read the full story at the Huffington Post if you click here.

I’m not exactly sure why this particular story is impacting me as much as it is. My sister works with individuals that have been diagnosed with autism, and my grandfather has been diagnosed with Alzheimers disease, so it seems that various mental illnesses are always  hot topic in our house. I recently edited a 12 page paper for my sister which was basically about invisible disabilities. It discussed how society sometimes is insenstive towards mental disabilites when they’re not visible. When an individual is disabled, if we can physically see it, we tend to be a lot more understanding. However, with mental illnesses, we’re sometimes unable to understand why an individual is behaving a certain way.

There have been so many times in the past when I’ve been quick to judge a child for misbehaving in public; I would also judge the parents and their parenting skills. In recent years, however, I’ve realized how ignorant I’ve been. There are many different reasons a child may be acting out, and a mental disability, such as autism may very well be the reason. As a society, we’re typically very understanding of individuals in wheelchairs, for example, because we can see that they’re disabled. Mental disabilites are so much harder to understand someitmes. Without sounding cliche (I’m sorry, I really have no other way to say it) it breaks my heart to see mentally disabled people treated poorly. I respect my sister so much for what she does, because I know I would never have the strength to do it.

I guess part of it goes back to the opening quote from The Great Gatsby about not judging people. You never know what their circumstances are. As upsetting as the story of the 15 year old girl and her mother is, I hope some positive comes from it. I hope light is shed on individuals with mental disabilities, and I hope more resources are put in place for them. Anyway, just wanted to share with you the story from 24 Hours that impacted me the most this morning. Hope everyone’s week is going well. And in particular, to my favourite reader – “geek” – I hope your week is going VERY well. Your comments make my day.

Haven’t posted in flipping forever. Same excuse as always – life, aka school, got in the way. And I’m not even going to bother promising more regular posts now that I’m out of school, because let’s face, nobody reads this damn thing anyway.  Started an anonymous blog so that I can bitch and whine without feeling like a complete brat, but I might as well do it here because nobody follows a blog that gets abandoned for even a week, let alone half a bloody year. Oh look at that, I’m finding the silver lining. Can bitch and whine and really write what I want without worrying about what people think. What a great result of ditching a blog for a half a year. Ha ha.

Update: I had abandoned this blog because I was completely lost. When I switched from wordpress.com to wordpress.org (in order to have more freedom with the layout), I had no clue what I was doing. I figured it would be more or less the same in terms of how you post, but it’s not. It’s completely different and I have no idea what’s going on. I wanted to end this post with Eminem’s “Without Me” video, but apparently you need a flipping plug in to insert a video! And I don’t know how to do that!!!! Nor do I have time to figure it out right now. Fuck.

I’ve noticed I really don’t like being in the same clothes all day. If I’m going out in the evening, I always want to come home and fix myself up a little and get changed. I hate going out in whatever clothes I’ve been wearing all day. Anyway, I wore this when I went to my parents office the other day to do my homework. After finishing up my homework, I stopped by my friend’s house and we took their dog Duke for a walk. I wanted to go home and get changed before meeting my other friend for dinner, but didn’t get a chance. I had dinner at a pop up restaurant in the Opus Hotel in Yaletown. The restaurant is only suppose to be open for a 100 days and is appropriately called 100 Days. The restaurant had a graffiti theme going on, and our picnic style bench table was covered in paint splatters, so I suppose my causal clothes weren’t too terrible. Has anyone had a chance to go to 100 Days? If so, did you like it? Do you guys like the idea of pop up restaurants?

Hat: H&M, stripped cashmere sweater: Club Monaco, skirt: Zara, cape: Zara, bag: H&M, boots: Neiman Marcus

Okay, it’s time for me to admit it – the Kardashian girls are my guilty pleasure. I love watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami, and now Kourtney and Kim Take New York. But they’re not exactly the kind of girls I’d look to for any sort of fashion ideas. They’re entertaining, and absolutely hilarious, but have never been at the top of my list in terms of fashion. I suppose the pictures of Kim in Juicy Couture tracksuits, Ugg boots, and one too many tight, clingy dresses are responsible for my lack of fashion confidence in them. However, Kourtney Kardashian has caught my eye lately. I flipped through her blog last night, and found some adorable pictures of her in pants. I’ve never been much of a pants girl; I’ve always preferred skirts and dresses, but Kourtney looks so effortlessly cool in her pants that I decided to give them a chance…

(Images from Kourtney Kardashian’s official blog)

I figured my parents office would be the perfect place to try out a new look. Coming to my parents office every day to do my online homework has its benefits. The first is obviously that I can concentrate without any distractions. The second is that being in an office environment, I get to experiment with different looks and wear things I usually wouldn’t consider. After being inspired by Kourtney Kardashian, and playing around with pieces I already had in my closet, I settled on this…

Bow blouse: Joe, jacket: H&M

Pants: Zara, shoes: Wallis, watch: Anne Klein

I think the next pair of pants I’m going to look for are going to be a pair similar to the velvet Theory ones Kourtney is wearing in that first picture. They’re such a nice night time alternative to a dress. Anyway, has anyone been watching Kourtney and Kim Take New York? You can admit it, I won’t judge you! I came clean about my guilty pleasure – what’s yours?